


The Heroin Diaries

by goatasaurus



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drug Abuse, F/M, Fluff, I'll add more tags later, Lashton - Freeform, Light BDSM, M/M, Multi, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Recreational Drug Use, Smut, malum, tattoo artist au, tattooed 5sos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 06:30:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12337338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goatasaurus/pseuds/goatasaurus
Summary: Calum's a top notch tattoo artist two years sober after a life of drug addiction and excess. All Michael wanted was a tattoo and maybe a bit of good sex. He isn't sure how he ended up thrown into the tornado of Calum's life.--This fic comes with heavy trigger warnings for drug usage, emotional and physical abuse, and more (to be added). Title comes from the book by Nikki Sixx of the same name.





	The Heroin Diaries

_I miss today I miss the past_  
_I miss my veins 'cause they've collapsed_

\----

“Be with ye in a minute!”

Michael inhaled deep; he loved the smell of tattoo shops. Love the smell of alcohol and ink and well, blood. Loved the ever present vibrating buzz of machines working away.

He hadn’t been to this shop before so he took in as much of the decor as he could. The walls were a deep crimson, decorated with various paintings and animal skulls giving the shop an almost spooky vibe. Behind the counter were shelves completely filled with trophies and plaques of varying sizes. This shop was well known for its all custom multi-award winning work and artists. Michael was certainly excited to get some work done.

He’d heard of the shop after his good friend Luke had been hired as its piercer. That led to him finding them on Instagram and instantly booking an appointment with one of the artists, Calum Hood.

At twenty-four Calum was still quite young and fairly new to the tattoo world. He’d only been doing it for about three years it seemed but he’d already made a name for himself. The guy had appointments booked for months. Michael was practically vibrating with excitement now that his appointment had finally come after so long.

As he approached the counter to wait, a young man not much older than he shot up from behind it. Michael nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Hi!” Louis snickered at the look at Michael’s face. “Sorry to scare ye, mate. I’m Louis, shop Lord and Savior also known as manager.”

Michael, who had been clutching his chest like an old man fighting a heart attack didn’t respond right away. It made Louis snicker again. He cleared his throat.

“I got an appointment with Calum?”

“Cal!” Louis yelled causing Michael to wince.

Louis grinned and looked at the booth just five feet away where Calum had just poked his head above the barrier to glare.

“Your appointment is here,” he said in that ever chipper voice.

After glaring at Louis for a few moments longer Calum’s face softened and he focused on Michael. He smiled and rose to his feet.

Oh, shit. Michael had seen pictures of the guy on his Instagram but damn. That did not do him justice. He forced a lopsided smile as Calum approached.

“Cal,” he introduced himself with a hand extended for a shake.

“Mikey.” They shook hands.

“Come on, I got a sketch drawn up of your concept.”

Calum beckoned him to his station where he grabbed a portfolio off the counter. There, began flipping through the plastic protector pages where he kept other sketches for clients. When he found the page, he turned the book to face Michael.

On the page was the most gorgeous ‘sketch’ Michael had seen. It was exactly as he’d asked; a vampire skull with fangs included without its jaw flanked by two bats. Calum had taken the artistic liberty of adding strings of pearls and these broaches with gems on them to pull the piece together. He was in love.

He didn’t realize that his jaw had dropped until Calum had started laughing and he looked up. Michael shut his mouth awkwardly.

“You like it?”

“Dude! I love it! Get this shit on me right now!”

Calum laughed again and Michael would be lying if he said he didn’t feel his stomach do a stupid little flutter.

“Alright, I gotta get a measure of your back - we’re doing it on your back, right?” Michael nodded. “Yeah so I gotta get a measure of your upper back and then I can draw up another sketch to the size and we can get started. Take your shirt off.”

Michael laughed. “You should at least buy me a drink, first,” he joked as he first stripped himself of his jean jacket. He couldn’t see Calum’s face but he just knew he was rolling his eyes at his dumb joke.

Calum had pulled a much bigger piece of tracing paper than the ones he kept in his portfolio and also grabbed a sharpie. With Michael shirtless he had the other man turn around so he could place the paper against his upper back where the tattoo would be.

“Oi, Louis, wanna make yourself useful?” He couldn’t hold the paper against Michael’s back and get the measurements at the same time.

Louis huffed and for a solid few moments he just stared at Calum without moving. “I’m the most important person in this shop, thank you very much,” he complained as he went around the counter to Calum’s station.

While Louis held the paper, Calum drew the rough lines he would use as a guide for his drawing. As Michael wanted this piece to take up a majority of his upper back, Calum drew his measurements so that the space spanned the width of his shoulders and from just below the base of his neck down about eight or so inches.

When finished Calum thanked Louis cheekily who promptly flipped him off as he made his way back to his post.

“Alright, so I can have this drawn up in about thirty? I’m just gonna do a basic outline of everything to get all the linework going and fill in from there. You can hang out here or get something to eat? It’s up to you.”

Michael shrugged and turned to face the other man again as he pulled his shirt back on. “Already ate before so I guess I’ll hang around. Is Luke here?”

\---

A half hour later as promised Calum had completed the clean linework for the tattoo. He wandered back to the piercing room where Michael had spent the time chatting it up with Luke.

The way Michael’s eyes lit up at the design made Calum grin.

“We’re good to go, I assume?”

“Most definitely!”

Calum laughed and nodded. “Alright. Give me another five or so to set up my station.”

As he walked by the counter he grinned cheekily at Louis and placed the sketch onto the counter. Being the store manager it was his job to make the stencils for art pieces. Louis gave him a narrowed look.

Five minutes later both Luke and Mikey wandered to the front of the shop and to Cal’s station.

“You’re not gonna be a pain in my ass while I work, are you?” Calum asked Luke as he placed his arms onto the barrier of his station.

Luke’s hair was incredibly shaggy so he pulled it back into a bun on the back of his head. He laughed good naturedly at Calum’s quip.

“I wasn’t gonna but now I am,” he said cheekily. He promptly went and grabbed a chair from nearby and pulled it right up to Calum’s station.

Calum just rolled his eyes and beckoned Michael to step in front of him.

Once Michael had removed his shirt Calum began rubbing a thin layer of soap with his gloved hands onto his back. This was so that he could shave any hairs that Michael had. There weren’t any visible but he always made sure to go over any area he was tattooing with a razor to remove even the thinnest and tiniest of hairs to avoid infection and allow the stencil to stick properly.

Next came the alcohol. Calum squirted some from the bottle he had onto a paper towel and wiped the entire area with it to kill any bacteria on Michael’s skin and help the stencil stick better. Final step before placing the stencil was to liberally coat Michael’s skin in the stenciling medium.

“Alrighty, man. Stand completely straight with hands at your sides.”

Carefully and as aligned as humanly possible Calum laid the stencil across Michael’s shoulders. After making sure that every piece of it made contact with Michael’s skin he slowly peeled it back.

There, he took a step back to observe his placement and ensure that it was entirely straight. Deeming it satisfactory he handed Michael a hand mirror and allowed him to look into the floor length mirror against the wall to approve of the placement as well.

“Sick,” was all Michael said and Calum needed.

\---

Hours later and well past the shop’s closing time Michael finally reached his limit. He had plenty of tattoos and was used to the pain of them but everyone reached the point where they couldn’t take it anymore.

Calum, being an experienced artist and used to the tells people gave when they were done pulled back. “You tapping out?”

Michael tried to laugh but he felt like someone had lit a fire on his back and doing so just sent more shocks of pain through him. “Would you think less of me if I did?”

Calum did laugh and glanced up at the clock above the shop door. “We’ve been at it over five hours. I definitely would not.”

“Then yeah. I’m tapping out.”

Calum laughed again and muttered a ‘fair enough’ as he rolled away from Michael. He placed his machine onto his workstation and stripped himself of his gloves.

“Well, we got about sixty percent of the way done,” he said as he pulled new gloves on. There he grabbed his bottle of water with a tiny of soap and liberally squirted it onto the fresh tattoo.

Michael was so raw that even Calum wiping down his back made the fresh tattoo throb. He tried not to wince.

“Alright. Get up slowly and take a look at today’s work!” Again Calum rolled away to strip himself of the gloves. While Michael got to his feet and went to the mirror he began the process of cleaning his work station and properly ridding of all the biohazardous material.

“You’re gonna lose your shit when you see it.” Luke was beaming at Calum’s work; he was always so awed at the incredible tattoos Calum put out.

Michael was a little wobbly on his feet so he took the steps to the mirror slowly. “I couldn’t have chosen to collect fucking stamps..” he said in a wince.

All that pain was suddenly _nothing_ when he saw the tattoo. Calum had completed the outline of the piece so every element of it was there for him to see. The shading was very obviously not finished just yet and though what had been done was red and bloody Michael could see the level of detail Calum had put into it. It wasn’t completed and already the bats looked like they could fly out of his skin; it was just so realistic. He was floored and absolutely speechless.

The only words he could manage were, “holy shit..”

Calum laughed and made eye contact with his client whose jaw was practically on the floor. “I know a good removal place if you hate it,” he joked.

Michael was silent for a few more moments as his eyes scanned every possible detail of his new tattoo. He suddenly regretted getting a piece by Calum on his back because he wouldn’t be able to spend hours looking at it like he wanted to.

“This is.. Wow. I’ve seen your work and I.. It’s all incredible but.. Holy shit, man.. This is.. This is some Sistine Chapel magnum opus work… I don’t feel worthy of having it on me.”

To Michael’s surprise Calum’s cheeks turned a bright red at that and the latter man very obviously avoided looking at him.

“Look, man. You don’t gotta flatter me to get me to sleep with you.”

Luke snorted. “Definitely not a hard thing to make happen.”

Calum rolled his eyes but otherwise ignored the other blonde in the room. He was done disposing of all his used items and wiping his area down so he removed his gloves and grabbed his phone off the counter.

“Gotta document today’s work for the internet before I bandage you up.”

\---

“Oi, Cal! Mikey obviously needs a couple of drinks in him after the torture you put him through. We’re heading to Ash’s. You coming with?”

Ever since Luke started working at the shop it had become almost a nightly affair for the entire crew to head over to his boyfriend’s bar. Luke got free drinks of course and if he sweet talked Ashton enough he could convince his boyfriend to give some of the crew the occasional free drinks as well.

Calum levelled Luke a tired look. “You know. I’m trying to live a sober life and you are enabling me by constantly dragging me to bars with you.”

“Excuse. Not bars. _Bar._ Singular.” Luke sniffed haughtily at the accusation; as if he would ever endanger his friend’s sobriety. “And I’m not enabling at all! I’m simply inviting my friend to have a good time with his coworkers!”

“Plus, I need someone to drive me home.” Louis spoke as he locked the shop’s doors. He, Calum, and Luke had been the only members of the crew left. The rest of the artists had left ages ago and were most likely at the very bar they were heading to.

“And! I think you owe Mikey a drink after what you did to him!” Luke added.

\---

“How many times have I told you not to smoke in my bar?” Ashton had approached Calum who had taken to standing against the far wall of the bar away from the counter and the alcohol. It was a regular occurrence.

Calum didn’t answer right away; instead, he brought his cigarette to his lips and took a long inhale from it.

“Dunno, probably a lot?” Calum was smiling cheekily at his friend before he tilted his head up and blew the smoke out to the ceiling. “Every other bar in the city lets you smoke inside.”

“Well. You can go to those other bars and smoke in there,” Ash rebutted.

Calum snorted and made a show of tossing the half smoked cigarette to the ground where he stamped it out. “Happy, mom?”

“I will be after you pick that up.”

“Yes, mother.”

Ashton wandered away then and Michael quickly took his spot. He had a beer bottle in his hand and had that twinkle in his eyes that told Calum he was just a little buzzed.

“So, you’re sober?” he asked before taking a deep swig from the bottle.

Calum shrugged; he’d shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket since he no longer had a cigarette to occupy them. “Two years.” He was quite proud of the fact and it showed in the way he smiled.

Mikey nodded. He felt self-conscious of his beer now and wanted to quickly get rid of it. Calum waved him off.

“And you still come to bars?”

Cal shrugged again. “I come to hang out with my friends. Alcohol was never my vice so being around it isn’t a big deal.”

Michael gulped down a big swig of the beer. “You mind me asking what was?”

It was a common question; everyone always wanted to know what he had been addicted to. Human nature to know these things, Calum supposed. He was used to it and not at all offended by it.

“That’s a bit of a loaded question,” he said quite honestly. Despite being comfortable with answering the question his natural fidgety nature started becoming evident; he removed his beanie to run his fingers through his curls. “I had plenty of vices. If it got me high I was into it. And I mean I loved booze too don’t get me wrong.. But it never really did it for me on its own? But heroin. Heroin was the big one.”

Michael’s brows rose high on his forehead. That was definitely not what he expected. He wasn’t sure what he expected, really but he definitely did not expect Calum to tell him he’d been hooked on one of the worst drugs imaginable. It was much more than he had anticipated and he needed to drink down the last bit of his beer to process it.

Calum laughed a little nervously but shrugged. The reaction like the question before it was completely common. Most people didn’t often meet ex-heroin addicts.

“Was into that shit for about.. Three years or so? Took it nearly killing me to finally gave it up.”

He wasn’t shy about his past and was actually very open about it most of the time. Anyone who wanted to get to know him needed to know of that big part of his past. Addiction was for life and he would always struggle with the urge to get back on the stuff. All his friends knew and if Mikey was into being a friend of his then Calum figured he should know about it.

“That’s why you quit?” Michael asked. He still held the empty beer bottle just to keep his hands occupied. He could have very easily placed it onto one of the nearby tables but didn’t.

To Michael’s surprise, Calum zipped his hoodie down just enough to allow him to pull at the collar of his t-shirt under it. His eyes widened at the long scar in the center of Calum’s chest that completely bisected the tattoo surrounding it.

“Bacterial infection. Had to have open heart surgery to fix the damage. After that and the six months in the hospital recovering I didn’t exactly have the _heart_ to try the stuff again.” Despite the seriousness of what Calum had said he couldn’t help the pun and how he smirked at it. Michael had to resist the urge to roll his eyes.

Instead he looked down the neck of the empty bottle, wishing it would fill itself up again so he could take another swig.

“That’s… Holy shit that’s a lot more than I would have guessed.”

Calum laughed and shrugged again. He’d left his hoodie half unzipped and shoved his hands back into its pockets. “Hopefully that doesn’t scare you off. You got another four or so hours left with me if you wanna finish that piece.”

Michael couldn’t help how he grimaced. Just thinking of the tattoo on his back made it throb.

He’d looked at the ground then, thinking of how to phrase what he wanted to say. Subconsciously he’d started nibbling at his lower lip.

When he looked up again, Calum rose his brows at the look in his eyes. There was definitely far more to his intentions than simple conversation.

“Truth? Not at all. I came over here to hit on you,” he said honestly trying his best at using his smoothest voice.

Calum’s brows rose even higher. He laughed, this was great. “You just gotta say the word, man and we can get out of here.”  
\---

Not twenty minutes later Calum was putting the key into his apartment door. As always his maine coon, Lenore came to greet him with enthusiastic meows and by rubbing herself all over his legs. He was unfortunately far too preoccupied to pay her any mind.

He and Michael had been making out at the bar, then in the car at every stop light and again the blonde was on him all tongue and grabby hands.

To Calum’s room they went. Michael had been biting at the two lip rings threaded through Calum’s lower lip and it was driving him crazy. Between rough kisses and the occasional hair pulling they stripped.

Finally, the bed. Michael’s back hit the mattress and he hissed at the pain that surged through him. Calum would be lying if he said that didn’t turn him on further. He settled between those pale legs that spread like butter for him and grinded his hips hard until Michael couldn’t help the way he threw his head back and moaned.

Calum’s teeth found that pale throat. He bit hard causing Michael to choke on his breath. Michael repaid him by digging his nails into Calum’s back and dragging them down. Cal didn’t move from that spot until he’d left the darkest hickey he could.

Down to business.

The condoms and lube were on his nightstand for easy access. He wasted no time rolling one of said condoms onto his dick. Michael was practically writhing in excitement by the time he inserted a lubed finger into his hole.

Goddamn did Calum love that neck. He was working on another hickey already as he stretched the man beneath him. Michael in turn seemingly loved scratching his back up like a cat with a post. Calum hissed at the pain but in no way wanted him to stop.

Enough prep. If he didn’t put his dick inside of Michael right that moment he would lose his damn mind.

He pulled his fingers out and used that hand to align himself. In one full swoop he pushed himself in. Michael practically mewled at being so full.

Calum placed his hands onto the bed and set a brutal pace. Michael was still scratching his back up and that just encouraged him further. His roommate Zayn must hate him because of how loud Michael was moaning. The bed was moving and hitting the wall like in the movies. Calum’s head was fuzzy.

They fucked hard and fast just like that. Calum bowed his head and moaned himself as his pelvis hit the back Michael’s ass over and over again. Michael had stopped scratching his back to jerk himself in time.

Not five minutes later Michael threw his head back again and came in long squirts right against Calum’s chest. The sight was so damn erotic that he finished not ten seconds later.

When he pulled out he collapsed next to the pale man. Michael sure as hell did a number on him because the action caused his back to sting. It made him laugh.

“Guess we’re even now.”

**Author's Note:**

> have some references for each character's appearance~  
> [Calum](https://78.media.tumblr.com/4ad3d0d0d99728817b53c54153033eb4/tumblr_nsn80aG7nv1ucg61do2_400.jpg) | [Mikey](https://78.media.tumblr.com/2ca562e0b9dd034a24d9241ddf25ecd4/tumblr_ns135vqhjW1tno0cxo2_400.jpg) | [Luke](https://78.media.tumblr.com/103726e22a6b50b3843f440a934a8cc9/tumblr_nw0bicssjN1usy4zho3_250.jpg) | [Ashton](https://78.media.tumblr.com/bede87c2d153a78534a396f76434a75a/tumblr_o0i8uepEbD1stt4e9o1_540.jpg)
> 
> so. i'm gonna be honest.. this idea popped up randomly in my head and i couldn't make it go away. because of that i wouldn't expect an update on this any time soon.. i just needed to get it out of the way and i wanted to gauge reactions to it. i also already have a fully fleshed out fic that i'm working on ([*cough* it's called Letharia Vulpina and you should read it *cough*](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10027673/chapters/22350719)) that is my main focus. this fic is kind of on the backburner to the other but it IS being worked on so please let me know what you think and if you'd love to read more of it!
> 
> also, check me out on [tumblr!](http://sodehumanized.tumblr.com) i'm always looking for more 5sos people to follow and talk to! <3


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